Pre-race nerves

So remember yesterday how I told you part of the training schedule was a few 10k races.  Well I'm about to race 10k in a few hours and I'm freaking out.  Like I mentioned yesterday I haven't raced anything under a half marathon distance in over a year and the last time I raced 10k I left everything I had on the course and only beat my p.b. by a minute.

I have been trying to calm my nerves with positive self talk, inner warrior visualization, past life regression (kidding) but I can't calm down.  Here's the deal, I have given presentations - albeit not many and always with another co-worker but nonetheless stood up and talked to more than 50 people and not felt this anxiety.  I know I'm not going to win this race.  In fact there are only 2 age categories 29 and under and 30 and over, so I won't be placing.  So what's the deal?

I think I actually put my finger on it a few minutes ago.  I am putting myself out there.  I know I "put myself out there" here, but if you're reading this chances are I've told you about it or you stumbled across it.  I have no illusions about my following on the Internet.  But for races, all people have to do is google my name and up pop my results.  Bam! There I am.  I can't exaggerate these results.  They've been measured and I'm accountable for them.  Do people really care - I doubt it.  Do I care - hell yeah.  Those results back me up to being a tough runner.  I can say I have ran a 23 minute 5k.  Those sites prove it.  Its time to go... putting myself on the line.

The day after.....

May I present to you.... the world's smallest medal.

I ended up finishing third in the 30+ age category.  


I started this race feeling great at an easy pace.  The course was an out and back on a rail trail with some very stone dusty spots.  (Yes - I did just invent that term).  I cautiously passed all but one female by the first kilometre.  I was the second female until 8.5k.  I couldn't keep my pace.  There were two women chatting away behind me and I let them go.  I ended up finishing in 55:07.  Not a great time and not a p.b. but this does give me a base to work from.  Next race Laurier Loop... will it be easier... doubt it.  Will I feel great after.... for sure.